missing you (since oct 17)

❝shin dongho, my little hamster. i love you so much. you were one of the members who always made me happy the most, especially with your bright smile. i can't believe that it happened but i want you to know that i understand and support your decision, even though it's hard. it's really hard for me. and i can't imagine how hard it must be for you and the members. but maybe it's relieving for you. it probably is. it makes me sad to think that the thing that made me happy caused you great pain. by letting go i hope you can get relieved of this pain. i hope you will be happy. i hope you can live a normal life somehow. i hope that those fans stop bothering you. i don't want to let go, but i have to. please be healthy, please be happy. that's the most important thing. i'm going to miss you so much. one day you'll have to pay me back for the tears i've shed, understand? idiot. i love you.❞